i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
