Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
