So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
