I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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