hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
