I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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