Where is the hickey?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
