He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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