He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
