I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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