On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
