Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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