Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
