I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
