i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
