About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
