I bet he comes in French.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
