So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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