She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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