I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
