dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
