Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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