At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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