I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
