Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
