Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
