32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You've changed since you got that strap on
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
