After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
