tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
