nut hugger
Define "chronic" masturbator.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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