Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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