come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
