nut hugger
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
