Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
