So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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