just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
