My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
