Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
