My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
