She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
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