Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
