just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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