I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
kristin has been a bad kristin
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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