he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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