I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
