Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
