Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
