Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
