check it out our google latitudes are spooning
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
