Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
