Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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