The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
