Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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