First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
