I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
