My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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