You're my little dorito
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
