My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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