It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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