dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
