k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
