her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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