perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
